(a pocketful of questions)
Note from author: Serendipity. I found this quite by accident today. Truer than ever.
copyright © January 25, 2012
by P. R. Lowe
What is your reason for celebration? When do you celebrate? Is it Christmas? Or solstice? When then?
Do you celebrate when you have an extra good day? And what is good to you? If you believe in good, then do you also believe in bad? What do “bad” and “good” represent to you? And how often do you use these words, out loud, or in your thoughts? Is bad the lack of good? Or is it it’s opposite? Are they indiscriminate, depending on your mood? (Whether or not you’ve gotten your desired outcome? What you’ve consumed into your body? Or whether or not you’ve gotten enough sleep or rest? Or a conditioned response based on what you’ve been “taught” thus far?) Is bad when you do not celebrate? Are you choosing when and if you celebrate? And what does ‘celebrate” mean? A condensed edition of Webster’s says: celebrate – to rejoice or have festivities, to mark, observe, perform, praise publicly. Below this I notice another word, one I’ve not often heard (if ever) and the connection causes me to smile. The word: “celerity” – meaning swiftness. But I’ll come back to this later.
Celebrate, from the larger, college edition dictionary, also means to have a convivial good time, and convivial – has to do with feasting; meaning fond of eating, drinking and having a good time. Also, good company, sociable, jovial. And another interesting bit: it is derived from the word, convivere, from-com -together and, vivere -to live. Together live? If we believe this to be true, (and I suspect most of us have uttered the mantra (whether internally or vocally), that yes, “we are all one” (or least thought we should be), then why do we still live in separation ? Are our platitudes (judgements of bad and good)) creating separation and is that a contradiction of what we truly desire? And what does “all” mean to you? All people? All people of a certain creed, color or belief?, or all, encompassing plants, animals, rocks, minerals…stars and galaxies? When we narrow the field, don’t we narrow the capacity to be what we say we desire?
And “jovial”? Webster’s gives this: Of Jove, God of the planet, Joviatis of Jupiter, full of hardy, playful good humor, genial and gay, also from the astrological notion that people born under the influence of the planet Jupiter are joyful. And Joyful? No need to look that up, I think. Is there one among us that has not expressed the desire to feel or have, one, or all, of the above in our lives?
To “lament” from Webster’s: a mourning, wailing, to feel or express sorrow or grief, an outward expression of grief, to mourn some loss or calamity. And has it been a desire to have these in our lives?
So where am I going with all of this? The choosing of it all. The “celerity” with which we seem to fall into celebration or lamentation. Judgement and/or separation. Have our brains been wired as such? Did we wire them? Or did someone else? Or has it been a mutual relationship of internal and external dialog and dictation? Did it begin involuntarily, and then become voluntary? Or vice versa? Anyway, we seem to have been wired to set times, events, and occasions to celebrate (feel good) i.e. that is, generally -consented -to- holidays, birthdays, weddings, etc. and also set times, to feel the opposite, (bad) as well -usually when we feel lack or loss, or the fear of either. Then there are those times in between when we allow ourselves to be jovial (hardy, good humor),when something (perceived to be) “good” happens, such as; more money or love, more time, a good book or movie or meal…often more stuff ( when we get something we have believed we lacked).
Can we choose? This concept has been simmering in the caldron of my soul for some time now and as we head into 2012, it is rising into a full boil and beginning to overflow into the rest of my bodies (spiritual, emotional, physical and ethereal). It came to me this morning as I begrudgingly completed a chore, that I did not desire to do. Or so I thought… right then and there I realized the chain of events that had led me to this spot. I became aware (and off auto- pilot)…..of choices, and even lack of choices that had lead the way here. I became aware of my full state of being; feelings, and emotions; how I had been in resistance to this action that I was perceiving as an undesirable chore, even if, at some level, some time ago, I had chosen it. Right there, I stepped back (as if stepping offstage) and reclaimed my feelings and everything shifted. I could now perceive a level of joy in what I was doing. It came again later when I realized Christmas was basically over and I was not experiencing any sort of “let down” as I have in Christmases past. This year I chose to do Christmas differently, in my own way and in my own time. Was it less significant? For me the release of it’s expectations, time constraints, consumerism and mad dash, “wham, bam, thank you Mam” has left space for a residual joy that may possibly last all year and even be called upon at will; such as gifting for no reason at all, stringing up lights, because they are festive and pretty, honoring the evergreen because it gives us breath and cleanses the planet, and feeling grace and holiness in an ordinary day, any time I choose.
I am beginning to understand choice and how I am feeling about anything I do or do not do, and am finding that when I change my choice, everything changes to accommodate the choice.
So, I am choosing to cease in reserving my jovial , hardy, good humored feelings for a box or file that I (or someone else) chose long ago. Can I choose in each and every moment to be in a state of joy and ease? Is it easier said (or thought) than done? Perhaps just the awareness of it, lifts the cloak of “struggle” that has been put upon us or chosen by us. Whether it has been perpetuated out of habit or “wiring”, can we step off the stage and become the author of the play? Preferably a good humored one that includes all.(And I know my definition of all).