sometime in October
I was hit with one of those electrical-like jolts this morning…about 5:30 AM. I had awakened just moments before…very suddenly…wide awake…like my body knew something was traveling through the ether…coming my way.
Did it hit all at once or was it a slow process? Both really…an odd sensation that…now…now that it is passed, leaves me feeling a bit stupid for the words to describe it. And do I even need to describe it?
Well no. of course not. In fact the less attention I give it…probably the better…for it is more than physical…it is also psychological… and I hesitate to give it more value than it is worth…for I suspect it has the potential to cause ill effects if I allow it, or give it credence (or even believe it). Harry Potter comes to mind…the green burst of light from a wand and the curse, “Stupify!” (Are there real Dementors afoot?)
I felt moved to speak of it here for those of you out there that know exactly what I’m talkin’ ’bout.
…and what is it?…(a question much like, “and who are “they” …which will probably come up later)
Well..It’s kinda like a cattle prod poked in the center of my spine…only it goes way beyond the surface into the core…from there it spreads to every muscle, every ligament, every fiber of my being. I find myself shrinking….vibrating …everything pulling me into a knot …and I assume the position…which for me is curled into the fetal position on my right side…one palm cupped over my head …the other over my sacrum. This seems to help. It brings to mind the position one might take up in a bomb raid…or when one is being stoned…and it hurts…that seems to be the only word that surfaces just now..although “hurt” doesn’t really come near the actual feeling it delivers…so I assume it must feel something like being poisoned…as if something alien, something foreign, something “unfriendly” has entered the blood stream or worse yet one’s “life force”.
Sometimes I actually fall back into a very deep sleep…if one can call it that…fist clinched…jaw locked…body drawn up into the smallest space I can manage. This “sleep” never lasts very long…maybe 30 minute or so. ( I know …I know….they say one cannot obtain deep sleep that fast…well perhaps they are wrong) I think it may be more like a shut down than true sleep…my Self’s way of protection…getting through to the other side of it.
When I come out of this “sleep”(or what ever)…It is as if I have to pry my jaws apart, begin to unlock my joints as if they have been rusted together. Slowly I begin to be present in my body again (as if I really did leave for awhile, just to find relief…in another place.) I usually end up feeling sore all over as if I’ve done a marathon work-out. Even my eyes seem as though they have been glued shut with a sort of sticky, gummy substance or residue that sometimes lingers throughout the day as a sort of filmy layer over my eyes. If I did not know better I would believe I was “sick”. I do know better.
I was out in town all day yesterday….and “they” have been chem-trailing “hot and heavy” here for a few days….heavier than usual and with a different pattern.
So what am I saying? Are some of us actually being poisoned just enough to make us sick but not kill us off too fast? (make a few bucks in the process of “fixing” over- population)…. If our food sources can be controlled (and there is strong evidence that they are) then it is not beyond the realm of possibility nor any where near paranoia or conspiracy theory to wonder.
Me? I am just describing a phenomena that happens to me sometimes …and has been for some time now. Am I afraid or worried? I’d be lying if I said, “No, never…not me.”…but mostly I know I really have better things to do than give it (them) any energy at all…….
“What you focus on becomes your reality”????